Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize