Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
