so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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