no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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