Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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