I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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