I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Help. Why am I so naked?
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