I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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