I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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