I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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