I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize