It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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