Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
