Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
