A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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