Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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