quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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