i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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