If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
