How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
