I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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