Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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