you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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