I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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