whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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