I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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