I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
