So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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