Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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