respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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