Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
