I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
