I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
