so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
