Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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