Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize