I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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