What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
