Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i am craving dick and cupcakes