dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex