Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.