New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"