There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
