I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
