I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
