Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
