No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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