Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
