cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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