Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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