You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
