Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
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Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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