he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
