i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
