remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she peed on how many people?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
