shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
