Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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