I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
