I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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