I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
